Drawbacks of education

Let’s start with this mail I received.

—– Original Message —–

Sent: 12/24/13 12:16 PM

Subject: Jewel

Jewel,

You are lovely and smart women.  Just from your web page I can see you are more then just lovely women.  Your web sites shows you have a education to go with that hot body.   Wish I know you when I had my visit with a women who does your job.  I bet it would have been much better with you then with her.

name

Sent from Some Mail Agent

————————————————————-
Sent: ‎Thursday‎, ‎December‎ ‎26‎, ‎2013 ‎11‎:‎11‎ ‎AM

Subject: Re: Jewel

Name,

Thank you for your mail, it’s kind of you to write to tell me you were attracted by my website.

If you don’t mind, I was hoping to explain that previous poor experience of commercial sex isn’t a fault of the woman you’d chosen. After all, it was YOU who chose her. Education isn’t in our job description: you employ us to have sex with you, not to teach your kids. If your chosen lady had sex with you – she did her job. If you were not happy with it – it’s your fault.  It was up to you to do a proper search, to compare different websites, to get in touch with a few shortlisted women and see which one of them met all your needs. And it was up to you to be clear about what you want. If a client doesn’t tell me what he is looking for, I can’t guess it – I’m not a mind reader. It’s only if you take time to think about your ideal date and then tell me the details that I can either create this ideal date for you or tell you that I can’t help you. If I don’t know what you want, worse still, if you yourself don’t know what you want – it’s only through good luck that our date can be satisfactory to both parties.

So with the experience you now have, next time you’ll do better.

Yours,

Jewel

————————————————————-

—– Original Message —–

Sent: 12/27/13 09:29 AM

Subject: Re: Jewel

thank you for answering by email.  It got me thinking about the experience.   When I had it, I was young and sure what I wanted.  I think I just wanted sex, not a lasting memory.   Now that I older I do know what I would like.   An experience that when I am  90 years old it still brings back a Great memory.   I did not tell the women what I want so yes it was my fault not hers.   I am sure if I was to meet and have a experience it would much better than my first.

Your website is not write by a sex worker but some one with a great education.  Your blog is written very well and your points in the blog are very good.

name

Sent from Some Mail Agent

————————————————————-

It’s a no win situation. If you’re illiterate, you’re either a victim of economic coercion (i.e. 99% of Earth population) or too stupid to make the right (i.e. approved by society) choice. If you appear to be educated, you’re a fake (most probably a pimp posing as a hooker to promote sex workers’ rights for the opportunity to pimp them some more). Fair enough, this isn’t what the author of the mail meant, he was simply trying to pay me a compliment by denigrating my job and my colleagues. I can’t really blame him for this attitude, the society is to blame. If a greengrocer or a cab driver blogged about their jobs and their clients in a way that people found interesting, how many would say “nah, too well-written for a cabbie/ banana seller”? Few. Because the society doesn’t know about these people, what lead them to their job choices and what they did before. How many studies show the level of education of people in these 2 professions? Similarly, few people know about prostitution, but suddenly everyone knows what sort of person can become a prostitute.

In other news, there are more well-written blogs out of timeline here and here. The first one is the graphic entry I promised a while ago. In Walter’s words,

On a scale of one to deeply shocked, I’m still firmly at one!

So ok, it wasn’t deeply shocking. It wasn’t meant to be. It just deals with the topic I usually avoid here – sex. I have to admit, writing about sex in a non-sexy way wasn’t hard, the hard part was to decide to write about it in the first place:  no-one likes clichés and what’s more cliché than a hooker producing wanking material? Next thing I know, I’ll be blamed for faking it. However, if you think there’s an entry on this blog that has more sex in it than this one – surprise me and send me the link.

As for the second new entry, it’s full of photos. Enjoy. On second thoughts – don’t. It most certainly wasn’t designed to be that entry with even more sex in it.

My clients

Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. It’s my clients who make me a prostitute and they do a brilliant job. Again and again. They even write poems about it.

Ever since Rhoda Grant published the results of her consultation (and for some time before that) I kept wondering what was going to happen. Quite naturally, my feelings ranged from “We’re all gonna die!” to “Nah, this ain’t gonna happen” depending on the day of the week. At the end of June, a few days before the bloody Bill failed, I went through my accounts for the first half of 2013. Ms Grant kept stressing that prostitution can’t go further underground, that if clients can find us then so can the police. So I made a list of everyone I saw in the half a year and did some simple mathematics. I admit that it’s not a representative half a year as I was off for 5 weeks with a kidney infection and then took time to get back to work*, but I wasn’t bored enough to go through 2012 accounts to verify my 2013 findings. The short of it is that out of all my dates in these 6 months only 28.5% were with new people. Others were repeat clients. Don’t know about you, I arrived at 3 conclusions:

  1. I seem to be good at my job
  2. I seem to be bad at marketing
  3. If forced, I could take down my website so the police can’t find me, and live off regular clients. Neither ideal nor impossible but does smell of underground.

And then, having made the list, I thought I could look into other things. The new clients. 50% of them I met while in Brighton, Cambridge and London (i.e. wouldn’t have met if hadn’t travelled. Definitely need to put more energy into marketing) and 25% of them all I have already seen again within this half year.

And out of curiosity I also had a look at my clients’ jobs. To be fair, I don’t always know what new clients do, and sometimes with clients I know well I only have a vague idea (e. g. something boring in marine policy making that neither me nor him want to talk about), but I know where the vast majority of my benefactors get the money to pay me, and the two general groups that came up first were

  1. IT dudes**
  2. Academic professionals

I have to face the fact that I mostly attract geeks and nerds. And geriatrics. The group that came up third was “pensioners”. Or I can choose to believe that I tend to attract mature and intelligent men whose unique preferences (and tastes in women) set them apart from the majority.

And finally here are the results of the Limerick Competition:

And in case you’re wondering, the people who took part are:

  • 3 IT dudes
  • 1 academic
  • 1 pensioner
  • 1 sweet man I’ve never met so don’t know what job he has if any.

And the winner is Leonard with

A woman of fixed virtue price

she’ll bind up your heart in a trice

from the top of her head

to the foot… of her bed?

Fuck virtue, let’s celebrate vice!

I’ve been doing exactly that. Right after him we have Walter with

There is this fine lady named Jewel

Whose stubbornness matches a mule.

If you call her a whore 

You won’t get past her door

(AND you’ll have to face ME in a duel).

Leonard gets a free dinner with me as promised. Walter gets a kiss for his knightly inclinations and, quite possibly, something else on top of the kiss to encourage the right type of behaviour and further literary endeavours. And on the subject: am I really that stubborn? I mean, people dedicate poems to my stubbornness! And so many people voted for it! In fact, some people in SCOT-PEP voted for this limerick exactly because of this line. And there was I thinking they’ll go for the one about the parliament… Here’s George’s (SCOT-PEP co-chair) take on things:

Done and chosen my two

Although there were quite a few

That were very clever.

I thought “Well I never!”

Jewel’s so popular. Who knew?

Indeed.

Many thanks again to everyone who contributed to the competition and also to those who took the time to vote. The new poll is here, please vote if you feel that it’s relevant to you in any way.

———————————————————————-

* I have a limerick for that

There is a Jewel in Auld Reekie

Who’s lately been feeling quite peaky

And men everywhere 

Wept with despair

‘Cos they couldn’t meet her for a quickie

 

** I’ve a limerick for that, too!

I’m a man who can’t wire plugs, 

I’m a programmer with software bugs.

I cry in the night,

But everything’s right

When Jewel arrives and gives me hugs.

Updates

Yes, yes, I know everyone wants to see the new photos. Here’s the secret – so do I! But we’re almost there. Honest to god (pick one of your liking. Or two)! Here’s a little preview of what’s going to be on the site

Independent Edinburgh escorts

Also, an entry out of sequence and my December tours. I do realise that I haven’t come up with any offers for a few months now, and I am genuinely sorry, so here’s one to last up until next year.

And a summary of the last poll (just so I could clear up the page at last):

If one or more links in my blogroll showed a view of sex work that puts you off, would it

  • reflect the diversity of sex workers’ experience and ways of working – by far the winner, 9 votes
  • make you question yourself and your opinions – 3 votes
  • show Jewel in the new light – 1 vote (and now I have to guess what light that is. I should have come up with a better put phrase)
  • I don’t care for the view as long as it’s well-written – 4 votes. Aesthetes. Don’t you love them?
  • Whatever. No-one clicks these links anyway – 1 vote. Which, I think, is true for a lot of people visiting my site, but only one was honest.
  • Make SOMEONE (not me!) think that by its presence Jewel endorses this view – 2 votes. Actually 3, because it was one of the 6 “other” replies which made sense so I included it into the main options.

The remaining “other” replies are:

  • It would “broaden my horizon” by teaching me something new
  • It’s your view that matters to me, not somebody else’s, so as you say – whatever. I guess that’s the lonely honest “whatever” voter trying to explain his (her?) vote. Thank you. Sounds like a compliment.
  • Only my own stupidity will put me off meeting Jewel. There’s no arguing with that.
  • A link to DemandChange may alter my view for a pico-sec before sanity returns. Hmm, do you think I should be linking to them? After all, I link to different views on prostitution, and theirs is just another view. An uneducated one, I’ll grant that, but it’s still a view.
  • Puzzled. If with the poll, here’s the explanation: a couple of months ago I updated my Blogroll links (the ones on the right) and one of the regular readers e-mailed me saying that one of blogs that I now link to does not paint a picture of prostitution that clients I aim for would be attracted to. As far as I’m concerned, if clients I aim for are not attracted to other bloggers – good for me. But as the reader pointed out, they may assume I endorse that unpleasant view which would put people who don’t yet know me off meeting me. So I put together the poll to see what people think. And the results are… above. That’s the whole story.

Now tell me how much you like the photo. After all, this was the only thing you noticed in this post, wasn’t it?

Cambridge

Right off the train from Newcastle I found myself on a lunch date in, believe it or not, a Scottish restaurant in Cambridge. No, wait, there was something worth mentioning just before that: cows. As my cab passed the city centre on the way from Cambridge train station to the restaurant, I could see cows grazing on a little bit of green. Cambridge received city status half a century ago. Someone needs to inform the citizens.

M meets me in the restaurant. This lunch can be summed up under the title “Introduction to the city of Cambridge, its life and lifeforms” lecture which was very helpful indeed. Of Cambridge lifeforms there are three:

  • Petrol-based intelligent agents, road-rage-driven. Commonly known as drivers.
  • Biwheeled embodiments of kinetic energy and the three Fs (this, by the way, stands for “fast, furious and f@cking annoying”, not for “female, forty and fat”) – cyclists.
  • Bipedal carbon-based near-extinct minority of pedestrians, woe is them.

As for the life, the daily entertainment consists of the correspondence page of “Cambridge News” where one day a driver slags off the cyclists and the next day a cyclist slags off the drivers. The downtrodden pedestrians don’t get the chance to trample anyone. If I were to stay in Cambridge for anywhere over a week, I would start this tradition, being completely pedestrian by birth and religion. I don’t mind drivers that much as I’m already used to them: I can speak their lingo should the need arise and I know how to kick a car and keep my shoes intact. The cyclists were a novelty and in all honesty I didn’t exactly take to them: I’m not fast enough to kick a passing bicycle, and shouting my opinion after it is rather pointless. Suddenly I see what the cows are for. Sorry, make it four lifeforms of Cambridge:

  • Graminoid-fuelled ruminant quadrupeds. These are situated right at the exit of the pedestrian anger vent.

M has soft blue eyes, a way with words and a needlessly critical view of self. He is genuinely fun to talk to and I’m not only saying this because of his cute little bum. His curious take on things makes him funny in a see-the-bigger-picture way. It’s probably due to his job which some could call bureaucratic but he practices as inventive. He’s a pleasure to share a meal with. After lunch M picks up my suitcase and we make our way to my hotel where I check in, he runs a bath and we enjoy each other. Somehow afternoon just flies by. What a perfect start to my first time in Cambridge!

The following day begins with a quest: find the Wren library. It’s on the map, but its location on the map isn’t entirely relevant to its accessibility in terms of real life. It took me half a morning to find the entrance and once I did, I was supremely disappointed. Oh no, it wasn’t closed, but photography was not allowed where all I wanted was a photo of Winnie-the-Pooh’s manuscript. Damn!

To get over the disappointment, I go to the Fitzwilliam museum. For a cow-infested place Cambridge has a marvellous collection next to which the Scottish National Gallery may consider investing in comfort food.

The evening I spent with P. His introductory call quickly turned into a friendly chat. First he made himself irresistibly attractive by describing my writing style as a real turn on. Then he went on to ask if I’d had my first punt yet. I somehow tend to think of myself as a punted rather than punting type, but in Cambridge this word is still used in its weird boat-related meaning.

We didn’t get a punt as it was too late in the evening. We got something better: P took me for a walk around night-time Cambridge and then to the college where he studied. This personalised tour was studentically romantic in a hungry but intellectual sort of way. Hungry, incidentally, is the word cut out for P. As a lot of self-centred people (I speak with authority here), he is hungry for new experiences, new conquests, more admiration. He appreciates women so he learnt to attract them by making them feel good with him. He enjoys sex so he learnt to be great in bed because the better your contribution, the better the sex. What a perfect finish to my first time in Cambridge!

Men are like lifts. There is this one button, you press it – the lift comes. Women, they are like accordions. You can get a melody out of it but you have to know how to play. This may seem unrelated, but it’s a good way to explain why I now think of Cambridge as a place filled with music. I am so going back! Even if only to finish my tour of the Fitzwilliam museum. And for the cows, of course. You don’t really think I’ll forget about the cows, do you? Or the great clients.

Farewell, November

First of all, all November posts are now in place. I am sorry it took me so long this month: I worked a lot, was away a lot, spent a lot of days (too many if you ask me) nursing a toothache (but the good news is that all the 32 are still there) and on top of that worked on an update for my site which will hopefully be there by the end of January. And will hopefully be liked by you. Last year it was new photos, this year it’s something slightly different.

Secondly, December “offers” and days off are now on Offers and Tours pages respectively. These are taking place whether I publish information about them or not, but I believe that clients have the right to be informed, and better late than never.

Now, the results of November “poll”. Not much, just as I expected: I know that clicking options you like is much easier than coming up with your own answer. So the question brought 2 results only. One in the form of a comment by Walter, the other was made in person by T.

Walter’s comment is spot on. Sometimes even I can’t find the new posts. Unfortunately, seeing as my creative process is too creative to go by the calendar, I can’t promise to publish entries on dates they are written – this way you will end up having Part 2 of something and no Part 1 for the next 3 weeks. There are a few things you can do to make sure you don’t miss updates. You can subscribe to RSS feeds (right column, For those in the know section) or use Google reader – both notify you every time an entry is published. If you can’t be bothered with all this, there’s another way: in “Old Stuff” select the month you’re interested in, and you’ll be given the list of entries for that time. Or use the calendar if it’s the current month you want to know about. If you’re interested in comments, the latest ones appear at the top of “Your Opinion” list, and there’s also comments RSS.

I realise that I’m not being very helpful here. Walter commented on a specific issue and all I’ve done so far was to give you a few tips on how to work around it, but the issue is still there. I can put up a little sticky note every time I publish an entry out of ordinary people’s time flow. The little sticky note will be at the very top of the home page and so easily noticeable to all. I’m not sure how long I should leave these notes for as I guess you don’t check my blog every day, but let’s assume a week is enough.

The suggestion made in person referred to the Etiquette page which I promised years ago (literally) but never delivered. I won’t promise this time but I’ll do my best. After all, I’m personally interested in educating people about how to treat sex workers. And yes, a client’s memory can be better than mine.

And of course many thanks to T and Walter for their help and suggestions. Don’t you just adore dedicated clients!

Farewell, October

The results of October poll

Out of 11 suggested options 4 got distinctly more votes than the rest and Melissa Farley et al would probably grab their chests and call 999 in disbelief. Isn’t it lucky they don’t come here that often! And so, you come back to this blog…

  • to find out what sex work really is about – 6 votes
  • to get a woman’t point of view on sex and relationships – 6 votes
  • because reading about embarrassing situations makes you smile – 7 votes
  • because you want to book a date and need to make sure you choose the right person – 9 votes

I can promise the first 3 points, and as for the last one – those who search shall always find.

There were also 5 “other” replies:

  • To sort of keep in touch – Walter. Thank you.
  • To celebrate the experiences of the most intelligent loving beautiful woman I ever met – Sandy. Aww…
  • Because I daydream of time with you – anonymous daydreamer. What’s the point? Come round and let’s make something for you to remember rather than dream about.
  • Your opinions are interesting and thought-provoking. Personality in your writing – anonymous flatterer.
  • To see if there are any updates and feel disappointed – a first with Jewel – anonymous wet blanket. Welcome to the real world.

In dealing with the last comment – it may come as a surprise for some people, but I’m not actually paid for keeping this blog. You can argue that since it’s the blog that brings me so many clients, then it pays after all. Completely true. But sometimes going to hotels to make something to write about takes so much of my time (not to mention that I have another job, studies, family, and occasionally even a life) that I’ve no time left to write about going to hotels.

Besides (and I’m sorry to admit it) an ordinary entry here usually takes a little longer than 5-10 minutes to complete. I’m not going for Nobel prize, but I like making sure that my work is good for what it is. And while there are some posts that are written in one breath, most of them take a few days to crystallise and take form in my mind first. Then I’ll start a draft. One word in the draft can sometimes grab my attention and the whole post turns in a different direction and I have to wait a few more days for it to take the new shape in my mind – I need to know what I’m writing about. Every post has a point: a little discovery that I made through a booking or a tiny observation, a fact about men, a secret about women, a peek into sex work – it may not be obvious to readers (I’m no Aesop) but it’s always there: I can’t write about nothing. So I can have up to 20 drafts at the same time. Some of them I delete eventually, others get combined together to form an independent post or broken into parts if I discover I’ve more to say on the subject. I enjoy the process – when I started this blog, I never thought it would take me where I am right now. But it does take time.

The current poll

As you may have noticed, there is no current poll. I thought long and hard but could not come up with suitable options so it’s just a question: what would you like to see changed here? Your previous replies have helped me a lot but if you want to see more of A, less of B, get rid of C completely and introduce D instead because it hasn’t been covered before and you think it’s worth it, now is the time to tell me. I can’t promise to go along with all suggestions but all will be considered. Another thing I absolutely can’t promise it to post regularly or even systematically (I do it because it’s fun. If I have to do it to a dead line – I’ll stop). If, however, you like what you see and you don’t want anything changed, I’ll be just as happy to hear this. I understand that thinking puts unnecessary strain on a male brain, but it’ll make your replies even more valuable to me.

Farewell, June

First of all, there are 2 new pages here. The Quotes page is self-explanatory, as for Jewel’s Own page (filed under Tours and Offers), here’s  the explanation: a client on his second visit remarked that it’s a pity us ladies don’t have loyalty cards as coffee shops do: buy nine drinks and the tenth one is on the house. It was a joke, but hey, it makes sense! We all like regular clients and I firmly believe that loyalty should be rewarded. And so, from now on this lady does. Issue loyalty cards that is, not give away free drinks. I appreciate the fact that not every loyal client will want to carry a Jewel’s Own card in his wallet, but I’m more than happy to keep a track of your comings and goings (which I do anyway, but so far the purpose was different). And for those who’ve been to see me a few times already, I’m happy to go through my notes to see exactly how many fun times we’ve had. And for terms and conditions, please go here.

The rest of the business news is my London tour 20-23 July and the current offer. See relevant pages for details.

I’m almost up to date with my blog, the only missing entries are the April virgin story (I’m doing my best, but it’s tricky to make public something that might be so personal for the other party) and an odd post about an average day in a life of an average lady of an average-rate virtue.

Farewell, April

I’ve been very quiet in April, as you noticed, but at last! At last! At last, my refurbished site is online. I feel like I deserve a holiday. Funny, because it was my webmistress, who did most of the work (putting the site together), and Walter, who got most of the pleasure (working on the background image). All I had to do was to co-ordinate their efforts. Well, let me tell you, managing people is hard work, and it’s very lonely there at the top.

I’ve already had some feedback, which was very positive and very pleasant to receive, especially when in person and unexpected (thank you, Neil), but if you have any comments or suggestions, please let me know (either e-mail or a comment here is fine. I’ll ignore either if it doesn’t contain words “Wow!” and “Blimey!”). My webmistress and Walter (aka PEC – photoshop-endowed client) will be informed of all the positive things you have to say, I owe it to them.

The content of the site is still the same except the index page where I changed a few words. Index page, being one of those pages people only click ENTER on but never read, could display an assortment of Bible quotes and no-one would notice. Pity.

I’ll catch up on the blog content as soon as I can, inserting posts here and there on relevant dates. I’ve another virgin story to tell! Meanwhile, you can have a look at May offers. Also note that I’ll be in London 12-15 May, so get in touch if you’d like to catch me there.

The new look

Welcome to my revamped blog! How do you like it?

The header photo (courtesy of Walter*) is me. Well, some parts of me. The rest is also all my hard work. That’s not to say that Walter had it easy, but eventually he had to admit that working with someone who knows what they want makes a difference. At last! Someone now understands why I need to ask what your plans for our date are! By the way, it’s still fine if you have no plans – I’ll make them for you. Just don’t complain afterwards. Now, where’s my strap-on?

While we’re at it, let me answer one question here that’s becoming rather frequent – so who writes your blog then? I am sincerely trying to see it as a compliment: I’m too beautiful to write anything worth reading. Unfortunately (contrary to some of the answers I’ve been able to come up with), no, I do not have a marketing department that deals with it. Nor do I have a PA who keeps up my blog when she has a spare moment. It’s all done by me. Single-handed (except for the photo. I’ll be sure to ask Walter if he only had one hand to spare while working on the photos). And I’m always happy to see your feedback. So do let me know what you think of the new look. Most of the features have been safely moved here from the old version. There’s even an addition – the link to the main site at the top of the right-hand column. The photos in the header will change a few times over the next few days – even with one hand, Walter’s done a great job on a few shots and I want to see which one I like best. The photo makes it all take half a second longer to load. It also makes it a little more obvious to people around you what sort of stuff you’re reading. If you read it at work – tough luck. Go back to work.

And yes, it really is a tartan garter. I laughed so hard when I saw it that I absolutely had to buy it.

*To those who are new here – Walter is a client of mine.

A boring one

Last night I saw C who was “a total novice at this but would like to give it a go”. As any woman, I’m always tickled pink when men choose me (over hundreds of others in Scotland) to introduce them to this: not only because I’m vain, but mostly, as I’m sure you’ll agree, it’s much better to be told “I saw your website and decided to give it a go” rather than “I saw your website and I won’t touch one of you with a bargepole now”. But this is not the point.

The point is that C is writing about the philosophy of religion – something that I find rather interesting. Get me right, I wouldn’t dedicate my life to it, but the origin of all religions is a fascinating subject and one I’ve always been curious about, not in C’s way though. I don’t know much about C’s work: he didn’t volunteer information and I didn’t know how deep I could probe. One of C’s remarks made it look like he’s with Freud on the topic whereas I, being more realistic, stick to Jung when it comes to religion. And a bed is for two people only, you don’t want Carl, Sigmund and Harry there together with you.

Anyway, the first thing I did today was a search for “The Golden Bough” – the only book I can think of on the subject. “King Solomon’s Mines” long done with (and a good read it was! I laughed out loud a few times and the thought of Good’s “beautiful white legs” still makes me smile), I now need something else to keep me busy. And Frazer was a Scot, too! The next thing you know, I’ll be putting my thoughts on Hume and Adam Smith here. You will all get bored and turn to blogs of more arousing nature and it will prove that prostitution is for no-brainers.

Right, will keep my hobbies to myself.