Edinburgh escorts video

It’s in the detail

I met HB in September. It was a curious date but you’ll hear more later. It was obvious that he looked forward to it. He dressed up (because my blog says I like a well-dressed man), he invested heavily in chocolate (because my blog mentions chocolate and so do I), and he clearly spent some time reading my blog – the telltale signs of a detail fetishist. I’ve already described a few of these here, I just didn’t describe them in detail. Now is a good time.


This type of detail fetish is quite common is certain circles. The Nutter. Being a researcher, he had an eye for detail. And this eye was always open. Everything he saw was filed away neatly between his braincells, evidence was presented, conclusions were drawn, summary was printed in triplicate for each relevant department and the research abstracts were made available to me on request. He gave me the most intimate present I have ever received. A shirt. How is a shirt intimate? It was a shirt in my size, of my favourite shirt brand, with my favourite type of cuff, in a colour I often choose myself. None of these parameters were ever discussed. Moreover, when I asked “But why a shirt?” he said something that never occurred even to me. Because I’m a shirt-wearer. When I thought I was dressed, he thought of the patterns that made this type of behaviour different from that of specimens of corresponding gender, age and occupation. I freaked out, went and bought 2 sweaters. Half a year after we’d parted ways I had to admit that he was right. I’m a shirt-wearer.


Walter has a heart for detail. He may be unable to recall what I wore for our last date, but he always knows how I’m going to react to something before I decide if I even want to react. Walter made it clear from the start that much as he enjoys the carnal part of our relationship, its less physical aspect is at least equally important to him; but it was our (almost) totally social date that made me see the bigger picture. During lunch we talked about the potential sequel to my video. A few days before that a client had shown me a video of a London lady which I, of course, shared with Walter. Unfortunately, the video isn’t there anymore, but it was a minute long shot of a provocatively dressed woman, tracing the outline of her hips, showing some skin above the stocking and then playing with her cleavage. The film was really well made, sufficiently tasteful, revealing and yet preserving the lady’s anonymity. I liked it, but I simply could not imagine having one of these myself. The inner resistance to it was puzzling to me until Walter shrugged and simply said, ‘This isn’t you. The London woman is playing with the viewer, showing off her assets. You don’t do this. You express your sexuality naturally: the way you move, the way you smile… To show how sexy you are, a film needs to show you doing everyday things.’

Ah, to have spent years selling your sexuality and have a man tell you how you best express it…


This last variation of detail fetish is most probably a by-product of a long unhappy relationship, although I can personally attest that certain occupations can also influence its development. It doesn’t come naturally to HB, it stems from his desire to please – a natural desire, but because his natural abilities to fulfil it have never been appreciated and therefore cultivated, he developed a mind for detail. Once an object is chosen, he takes it upon himself to read every scrap of information that can be found. Every e-mail. Every tweet. Every blog entry. Even I haven’t read them all. He’s done it twice. What he can’t find information about, he asks. And he listens. I commented on a beautiful fan in a shop window and I received it a few days later. I mentioned that I particularly like a specific gluten-free snack, and now I’m given it every time I see him (yes, I always think of Pavlov’s dog, too). The most memorable experience HB provided me with was finding lambs for me after I said I’d always wanted to see lambs up close – you’ll have to wait for the details, I’m afraid. Of course I’m pleased, but I’m also touched. I’ve been blessed with wonderful people for clients and the fact that some of them go out of their way to please me is nothing short of miraculous. I must have done something seriously good in my past lives.

Edinburgh escorts

Sex Worker Open University in Glasgow

Sex Worker Open University Co-operative invites you to Scotland’s first ever Sex Workers’ Rights and Community Building Festival in Glasgow 5 – 10 April!
Scotland is one of the most recent countries to consider change in sex work laws. This has led to an uprise of anti-sex work groups campaigning for the introduction of an “End Demand” approach. This is the time for us to stand together and say NO to further criminalisation of our work and our clients. This is a unique opportunity to make our voices heard and to organise as a community for our rights and we hope you can join us! Please spread the word about our events and we will make sure to develop and distribute many resources (videos, press releases, etc) following the festival that can be used in our ongoing fight for access to the rights we deserve.
The programme includes films, cultural events, debates, international speakers, skill-sharing workshops and much more! Some events are open to public, others are sex worker-only spaces. 
We are very grateful and excited to welcome guest speakers both from around the UK (Scot-PEP, X:Talk Project and ECP) and from more distant places (STRASS (France) and Scarlet Alliance (Australia)).
With love, rage and solidarity, 
Sex Worker Open University Coop



Sex Worker Open University in partnership with Scot-PEP presents


Glasgow Fri 5 April – Wed 10 April 2013

April 5, Friday

♥ Sex Workers’ Rights Film Night! (PUBLIC EVENT)

7pm – 10pm, The Cinema, CCA (Centre for Contemporary Arts) 350 Sauchiehall Street, Glasgow G2 3JD

Suggested donation: £5

SWOU Collective is proud to invite you to an evening of short films and documentaries produced by sex workersor about sex work. The videos will be introduced by sex workers and allies and will cover themes such as sex workers’ self-organisation, resistance to criminalisation, sex work and migration and effects of anti-trafficking policies on sex workers’ communities. The films include

  • Sex Worker Open University 2011, by Stoo Ireson, 2012 (UK). The second edition of SWOU brought together activists from a dozen different countries and included a Sex Worker Art Show, demonstration and many workshops!
  • Streets in Red, by Clare Havell, 2010 (UK). Short documentary on the subject of street based sex workers in the UK.
  • Normal, by Nic Mai (UK). Combined interviews with four young migrants impersonated by actors. The similarities and differences between the characters’ life trajectories are explored by focusing on their contradictory aspirations to lead a normal life. The four characters explain how they came to see their involvement in the sex industry as normal and how their notion of normality evolved with their life experiences. At the same time, their life trajectories do not conform to the victim/villain stereotypical opposition which dominates current debates about sex work.
  • The Honey Bringer, by Clare Havell and SWOU Collective, 2012 (UK). A documentary on the 2012 Sex Workers Freedom Festival that happened in Kolkata, India as an alternative conference and protest to International AIDS Conference in Washington from which sex workers were banned. Interviews and images from the biggest international sex worker gathering of all times!
  • Last Rescue in Siam, by Empower, 2012 (Thailand). This is the first film ever made by sex workers in Thailand. It is a short black and white movie inspired by the tradition of the old silent movies. The film accompanies the Empower research report Hit & Run on the impact of anti-trafficking raids on sex workers’ human rights.

 April 6, Saturday

♥ Laws and Policies that Impact Sex Workers, and Strategies for Resistance and Change (PUBLIC EVENT)

11am – 4pm, STUC (Scottish Trades Union Congress) 333 Woodlands Road, Glasgow G3 6NG

The day will open with introductions to the event by members of SWOU and delegate of Comic Relief and Red Umbrella Fund.

FIRST PANEL (11am – 1pm): The Push to Criminalise Clients and the Roll Out Effects on Sex Workers.

  • Jay Levy, University of Cambridge: Swedish Abolitionism as Violence Against Women
  • Scot-PEP: The Scottish Context: Organising Against the Push to Criminalise Clients
  • X:Talk: The Case for a Moratorium: Sex Workers Organising in the Shadow of the Olympic Games. Lesson for the Commonwealth Games?
  • Morgane Merteuil, Strass: The French Union of Sex Workers’ Approach to Fighting the Criminalisation of Clients

[Discussion between panelists and audience]

SECOND PANEL (2pm – 4pm): An Alternative Approach: Decriminalisation

  • Anastacia Ryan, NSWP and SWOU: Introducing Decriminalisation as an Alternative Model
  • English Collective of Prostitutes: Sex Work and the Law: Organising to Win Decriminalisation, Safety and Rights
  • Film: New Zealand Fight to Pass the Prostitution Reform Act (2003)
  • Anastacia Ryan, University of Glasgow/NZPC: Exploring and Comparing Sex Workers’ Experiences in Scotland and New Zealand
  • Zhara Stardust, Scarlet Alliance: Decriminalisation in New South Wales, Australia: The Successes and Challenges Faced by Sex Workers
  • Film: Australian Sex Workers Fight for Decriminalisation

[Discussion amongst everyone and sharing strategies for the fight for decriminalisation]

April 7, Sunday

♥ Skills Sharing and Discussion Day (SEX WORKERS ONLY)

12pm – 6pm: Email us at glasgow.swou@gmail.com for venue details.

This is a day for sex workers to gather to share skills and experiences. Workshops will include professional skills and discussions. It is a sex worker only event and all workshops are delivered by sex workers themselves. This is a safe and confidential space.

April 8, Monday


1pm – 5pm: Email us at Glasgow.swou@gmail.com for venue details.

1 pm: Taboo. Another sex worker only space, SWOU Taboo is a chance for sex workers to discuss issues that are quite personal and often used against our self-determination. We will create a safe space to discuss issues such as sexual violence, mental health and addiction, our relationship to money or our clients.

3pm: Sex Work as a Helping Profession. As sex workers we often provide our clients with important and invaluable services that support their physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual wellbeing. We will create a space for us to collect our stories and share our experiences of ‘helping’.

♥ Building Alliances (PUBLIC EVENT)

7.30pm – 9pm Mac Lecture Theatre, Glasgow School of Art, 167 Renfrew Street, Glasgow G3 6RQ

Viewing of extract of Proudly Trans in Turkey from Gabrielle Le Roux about trans activists and sex workers in Turkey, followed by discussion and presentation from members of sex worker, LGBT, HIV+ and migrant communities, feminist groups and trade unionists on the intersection between sex work and other criminalised or stigmatised communities and how we can build alliances for social justice and human rights.

April 9-10, Tue-Wed

♥ Reducing Stigma and Building Our Capacity (SEX WORKERS ONLY)

Email us at glasgow.swou@gmail.com for venue/time details and to register.

A public education workshop for sex workers by Maria Nengeh Mensah (Stella and Université du Québec à Montréal) and Chris Bruckert (POWER and University of Ottawa). This two-day workshop is a unique opportunity for sex workers to develop their knowledge as an educator, reinforce their capacity to confront whore-stigma, learn about the principles of public education, and share knowledge, skills and ideas around diverse trainings about sex work. Registration by email necessary.

April 9, Tuesday

♥ Sex Work, Stigma and Criminalisation (PUBLIC EVENT)

6pm – 8pm, CCA5, 350 Sauchiehall Street, Glasgow G2 3JD

This interactive public education workshop open to all is led by members of Sex Worker Open University and aims to look at the root causes of whore-phobia and the effect of stigma and criminalisation on the lives of sex workers.


PDF version of this programme available to download here. Please help us promote this festival!

SEX WORKER OPEN UNIVERSITY: www.swou.org (possible issues depending on your browser)

SCOT-PEP: www.scot-pep.org.uk

FACEBOOK EVENT: Sex Workers’ Rights Festival and Community Building Glasgow www.facebook.com/events/347770968675060/?fref=ts

A damsel in distress

If you remember, in Part 3 of my London visit I went to Praed Street clinic. That was a Monday. Friday of the same week, sleeping sweetly in my Edinburgh bed, I am woken up at dawn by a phone call.

– Jane?

– Merrr?

– Jane, this is Andrea from St Mary’s hospital.

– Wherrr?

– I’m calling about the results of your latest test.

– Oh?

– Please don’t worry, but…

(Funny how you always get a panic attack when they tell you not to worry. Suddenly I am wide awake)

– … one of your test results is inconclusive.

She goes into long explanations of why this could have happened and what it might mean, but, being in panic, I only get this much: an inconclusive test result means that I either have it or not. They test each swab twice. My first test for throat gonorrhoea was positive but the confirmative test of the same swab was negative. I need to take this test again.

I hang up and lie for a while looking at the ceiling. It feels surreal. Everyone knows that condoms don’t provide a 100% protection from anything, so this one time in 7 years is, I suppose, good enough. Hold on, it’s not like I have it for certain! Besides, if this really is the case, how did I manage to get it in the throat but nowhere else? How long will the treatment take? And then I’ll have to take another test, and wait for its results, hopefully negative then, so how long will I have to be off altogether? Hold on, it’s not like I have it for certain! I don’t have to be off. It’s only my throat that’s off limits. Gonorrhoea sits deep in the throat so I’m unlikely to pass it to anyone unless they lick my tonsils and I am yet to get a client with such a fetish. The rest of my body is disease-free although of course this isn’t how clients will feel about it. It’s getting in touch with clients I saw recently that I need to be worried about. Hold on, it’s not like I have it for certain!

And so, after a miserable week-end, on Monday morning I go to Edinburgh GUM clinic. I hate this place. The walk-in clinic is open 8.30 – 10am. If you show up at 9.15, you are told that the clinic is already full and you’ll have to come back tomorrow. Unless you’re a hooker with gonorrhoea, in which case they’ll kindly squeeze you in as an extra patient. EXTRA patient! In a walk-in clinic!

I get to see a nurse. I tell her why I’m there. She goes. I wait. A doctor comes. I tell him why I’m there. He takes a throat swab and goes. I wait. Second nurse comes, with a Petri dish for another swab. This one is for cultures, so they could determine what antibiotics will work better. Then I wait again. Third nurse comes, with a syringe and a pack of pills. She tells me what the treatment involves; details aside, it’s a heavy-duty course of antibiotics. She rips the syringe open and starts filling it.

– Hold on, have you already received my test results? Even the cultures?

– No, of course not, they’ll be ready next week.

– So why do you think I need the treatment?

– Well, er, because… You know, to save time.

– Would you take this amount of medication for no reason?

– Er…

– When I have the test results, I’ll take it. Or not.

I leave. I feel sicker than ever. A whole week to wait for the results.

Incidentally, that was the week when Walter could visit Edinburgh. And I couldn’t see him! Well, I could, but without kissing this is a waste of my time and his money and kissing he wasn’t comfortable with in my ambiguous condition. He comes anyway – to show his support in more than just e-mail.

We start with a lunch. We’ve a lot to talk about, mostly his plans for my next video. Then Walter wants to go to the cinema. I don’t. Guess who wins! It’s not that I dislike cinema. It’s that I love Walter. And in the cinema we’ll be watching a film, not spending time together. So instead we have a hot chocolate and do what we always wanted to do but were afraid of: shopping for lingerie. In a little boutique in West End I introduce us as Mary and Alfred Hotchpotch (his nome-de-videocamera), he sits down on the sofa with a cup of tea and I disappear in the change rooms. Some time later he joins me there.

Out of the boutique, I take him for a walk in Dean village, we have another hot chocolate and then go home where I change into my new lingerie, he wipes his saliva with his sleeve and we go out for dinner. A beautiful day and we didn’t even kiss! Oh alright, we did. More than once. Mostly in the change room. And also after dinner when it was time for him to go to the railway station. A beautiful day nevertheless.

The following morning I get another call. All results are negative. The crappiest week of my working life over nothing. Well, I have some lingerie to show for it. Quite literally! Walter took a couple of pictures!

Farewell, September

It was a lovely enough (for Scotland) Saturday morning. Oh alright, make it early afternoon. Week-end is the time to care for work-related clothing, so I had just done the laundry: silk and lace knickers were hanging off the door knobs while the airer was full of… anyway, it was full. I just sat down to look again at the gift card I got the previous day – a voucher for a couple of hours worth of body treatments at one of the top (read “ridiculously expensive and even more appealing for that”) spas in Edinburgh – and to figure out when I can spare half a day for this trip to heaven when my personal phone started ringing.

My friend on the other line (let’s call her MSH, and yes, it does stand for something) was somewhere very noisy but she didn’t say where and I didn’t care to ask. The beginning was innocent enough, we both happened to be fine thank you, and both seemed to be enjoying the week-end so far. She then went on to ask what my plans were. My plans were to call the spa to book the treatments and then to update my blog and look into advertising for my tour, so I told her I was thinking of doing some grocery shopping and then packing my bag for the visit to Glasgow on Monday. I really don’t know why I mentioned Glasgow. It just came out of my mouth as a better alternative to selling sex in Oxford.

– Oh, – said MSH, – I didn’t realise you were going away! I’m just at Waverley and I was hoping to spend a few days with you.

I didn’t drop my mobile in surprise but I was very close to it. I looked around my flat, my mind registering all those things that my friend should not see under any circumstances. The 37 pairs of shoes by the door. The array of Thank You cards from clients on the mantelpiece. A few dozens of condoms on the sofa: they have just arrived in the mail, I needed to sort them out by size, type and material they are made of and re-stock the condom bag that I take to work. The stack of books by my bed – research on sex work that I had just received and needed to go through. The lingerie and other work clothing that I had just put to dry. And don’t even start me on the bathroom and browsing history on my laptop. And now I only had about half an hour to somehow hide it all. I also had to find a place to hide it all: these things are part of my everyday life, they aren’t meant to be hidden so it’s not like I have an extra wardrobe where they usually go.

25 minutes later, when MSH rang the bell, I was slightly out of breath but happy with the results of my clean-up. As she walked in and gave me a hug, everything seemed normal. She opened her luggage to take a few things out and thankfully she didn’t have anything that would need to go in the wardrobe: I’m sure things would come pouring out of it cartoon-style if I attempted to open it now. I made her a cup of tea and she sat down so we could discuss our plans for the week-end together. This is when it happened.

We noticed the beautiful cream and gold card on top of the papers on my desk at the same time. I mentally bit my own bum as she reached for it.

– So beautiful, what is it?

The most expensive gift MSH ever got from her husband was a blender (he can be incredibly romantic for a Brit) but from the look of the gift card even she could tell it was worth more than a tenner. She opened it.

– Oh how lovely! And it says “With thanks” here! Who is it from?

– Erm… it’s…

– It must be from a man! Come on, tell me! I didn’t realise you were seeing someone! Why do your friends always find out last?

– You don’t… See, the thing is…

– Wait, is this what you’re going to Glasgow for? I’m sure it is, why else would you go to Glasgow but for a man!

– Yes! Yes, that’s right! I’m going to Glasgow to see the man who gave me this gift card!

Why am I telling you all this? Because people don’t always realise that living 2 lives is not easy, especially when you have to hide the one that you prefer. In a month or so I’ll have to think up a reason why things didn’t work out with “the man in Glasgow” (his accent should be reason enough, I’m thinking) and for a few months after that I’ll be subject to lengthy talks about how I’m not getting younger, how it’s impossible to find a decent man, how all men are bastards and how difficult it must be for a woman on her own.

Which leads us up nicely to this charming video:

Christian’s blog is now in my Blogroll, hope you enjoy it. Could you also please take part in the new Poll, it would take you less than a minute and would help me a lot. Other than that, there’s an entry out of sequence and please remember that I’m down south for 10 days in October.

The sex talk

If you’re in Edinburgh (and even if you’re not), you may be aware of Belinda Brooks-Gordon‘s talk on sex work as part of Edinburgh Sceptics: on the Fringe of Reason. While personally I like her works a lot (most probably because they make sense and don’t tell me I need to be saved), I felt little inclined to go to the event. Who would you expect to see there? That’s right, those who are curious about prostitution and prostitutes. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but I’d like to avoid it in public.

I had a booking on the day, and I really don’t know how it happened but when I arrived to the client’s place, I suddenly thought: “Damn, Belinda’s in Edinburgh and I’m not even making an effort to see her! When is the next time I’ll have a chance?” Funny how I only started thinking about it the last minute. So there I am, asking my client to go to the talk with me.

Did he agree? Of course he didn’t, most probably for the reason I gave above. But he let me leave earlier and I was just in time for the talk and even had a spare minute to sexually harass a poor Edinburgh Sceptic who was giving out leaflets to the people queueing for the show (no drama, by the way, just a little chat which he himself initiated, but he looked slightly red in the face and a lady of fixed-rate virtue from Glasgow, who was queueing with me, said I got him flustered). There’s no way I could be a spy: I’ll blow my cover within the first 15 minutes. Just the day before the talk I pinched a bum on a performer in Royal Mile. As in really pinched. In public. It was a fine piece of arse and I wanted to show my appreciation of it in a way a man should understand.

Anyway, we got inside and I was so glad I came! It was one of the most informative and comprehensive talks about the political side of my profession, well-structured, well-presented and, of course, well received by the audience. At the end there was time for questions, and a woman in one of the front rows raised a hand. She started her question with “I’m a sex worker in…” and I have no clue what her question was about because I didn’t hear any of it, I was too stunned. It was the second time I saw a woman publicly announcing she was a prostitute; and each time they make me question myself: would I be able to do it? If I were, how would it feel? It’s all good telling myself and clients that I’m proud of my job, but would I say the same in a large room full of strangers? Well, I’d do it if I had to, but would I do it if I didn’t? And more importantly, would I still feel proud? I know the stigma is there, but just how much influence does it have over me? Magdalene survivors are still ashamed of their past and they did nothing wrong. So how would I feel if I were to come out of my closet in public?

Belinda agreed to meet Scot-PEP afterwards so the Glasgow lady and I stayed and joined the 2 men from Scot-PEP. So did the young woman who stunned me so. I told her about it and she just shrugged her shoulders.

I will never understand the British habit of pubbing. When civilised people in civilised countries want to discuss something in informal settings, they’ll meet at a bar, or a cafe, or a restaurant, sit down, get a drink and chat. When the Brits have something to talk about, they stand in a busy pub (right under the speaker blaring out Alice Cooper and Rammstein) and shout at each other with an occasional spitspray. They seem to enjoy it though: an hour with Belinda passed very quickly and it was time for Scot-PEP gentlemen to leave.

As soon as our male companions were gone, an interesting thing happened: men lined up behind Belinda’s back. Here’s how it looked: there’s Belinda the Blonde Bombshell who’s just given a talk on harlotry, there’s the self-proclaimed sex worker standing right next to her, and 2 more “gals” (me and the Glasgow lady). We’ve been standing there for over an hour and no-one seemed interested, and only now, like flies on honey, they surrounded Belinda asking her sex work questions that even the bartender could answer. All across their faces was stamped “I want a closer look at them hookers”. We left straight away. Want to have a closer look at a hooker? Call, come and pay her.

The lovely video below shows why it’s not always pleasant to have prostitution-curious people around you.

Farewell, February

Sorry about the break, I really am. I’ve been busy with the main site’s updates (if you haven’t seen it yet, go and have a look now! You may have to refresh your screen) but feel free to be upset anyway.

The results of the video survey

were very positive. 18 respondents altogether, of them at least 3 were female.

Question 1: Did you like the videos?

Needless to say, everyone said yes. 5 comments were added, mostly along the lines of “Great idea!”

Question 2: Which one do you prefer?

  • The long one – 11 votes
  • The short one – 2 votes
  • Both are ok – 5 votes

6 comments here: 2 in favour of subtitles, 2 almost identical (longer video = more Jewel), 1 respondent said that the length was irrelevant as long as he could see me there as this brings back the memories, and 1 respondent mentioned that being a female, she did not appreciate the dressing scenes that much and this defined her preference for the shorter video (which I agree with. The stockings scene makes me think of grocery shopping, partly because this is what I usually think of when putting on stockings).

Question 3: Videos or photos? (one respondent skipped this question)

  • A video is more informative – 14 votes
  • Either is fine – 1 vote
  • Photos, please – 0 votes
  • Other options – 2 (both saying that these are different things and there’s no general answer to this question, one of the respondents further stating that what really worked for him was the blog – Aww! Now I feel so bad about taking a break!)

5 comments here: almost every comment says that there’s more personality in a video, one going further to note that unlike with photos, in a video you can’t alter the image or show the object only from an angle that gives a better impression. The same respondent finished his comment with “more people should follow in your footsteps”.


I always knew I’d make the headlines. While personally I agree that if there were more people like me around, the world would be a much better place, I also keep it in mind that the competition would skyrocket.

Question 4: Suggestions for the next film.

  • Show how sex workers operate – 10 votes (I’m sure some respondents just mistook this option for a polite way of saying “where’s the action???”)
  • Make it longer with more details – 5 votes (this must be just my dirty mind but details of what? Of the action? I should have had better phrased options – these are notes to self, by the way)
  • Provide more wanking material – 3 votes. Now this is unmistakable. The only consolation is that, judging by the comments, the respondents were not serious about it.
  • Choose better music/ Make it 3D/ Keep it short – 2 votes each
  • Lose the subtitles – 0 votes!
  • Other options – 2. Comments – 9.

Here it’s hard to come up with a system as all comments are so diverse and often completely opposite. Some say that it’s possible to show more without it becoming sordid (as the director put it, an average 12-rated movie is daring in comparison to my videos), others say it’s just fine the way it is, and yet others actually criticize the video for showing too much and remind me that “less is more”. Seriously, what’s a girl to do in a situation like this? That’s right – do as you always did: sod the public and please yourself (again, it’s a note to self, not a call for action to the reader. I’d be out of work if all readers here started pleasing themselves).

Some comments do deserve a little attention though.

“Sit back, let this ride for a while, and then get Almodovar to do your next film”. I can totally see myself in the role of a nun who solicits matadors right outside the nunnery and, once the victim is in my cell, I knock them out with the help of spiked gazpacho and stab them (the bodies are then kept in the fridge in the closed down restaurant next door) – all this is to relieve the pain and grief I’m in ever since my matador lover (played, of course, by Antonio Banderas) left me for a transvestite actor. At the same time, I am haunted by the ghost of my mother (either Carmen Maura or Marisa Paredes, I haven’t made up my mind yet) who is not happy because Banderas was her lover first. Hopefully, Penelope Cruz agrees to take on the role of a street walker who I have to fight for the spot outside the nunnery but eventually we fall in love and leave for El Salvador. X-rated. How can one not love Almodovar!

Another comment: “Show more romance… Have Jewel serve the gentleman the wine (Jewel does not serve gentlemen. It’s the gentleman’s responsibility… to pour wine. And do the rest) by candle light. Perhaps flirt… show Jewel sipping wine (Jewel does not do wine), showing some “leg”, undressing slowly (Jewel does not undress herself unless she’s by herself). Perhaps the more upscale the video than the better clientele?”

The last sentence is completely true and this comment really made me think hard. The idea is tempting, but here are my conclusions:

  1. Scotland and Upscale being on the opposite end of the scale, I’ll have to look for another job.
  2. Showing an upscale client in my video could potentially scare off all my farmers and virgins and I don’t want this to happen! Not only because I’ll be missing them, but also because I believe that
  3. everyone has the right of access to good sex, not just the upscale clients.

And the king of comments (unfortunately, you’ll only see the end of it): “give us (men) more cheek and hard time, we like it really”. He totally nailed it. Forget Mars and Venus. Give a man a hard time and he’ll be yours forever. Took me a few years to figure this out. Where was this respondent in 2006???

Farewell, January

The Jewel DVD is now available for sale. It includes both the theatrical version and the Director’s cut (subtitles are available in English, French, German and Latin), Director’s commentary, interview with the cast, still shots and of course bloopers.

Seriously now. Both films are now available to watch: the short version for those in a hurry and the long version for those who want to know more. As some of you have guessed already, there’s a monthly poll (survey this time) dealing with this. Please make a couple of minutes and answer these 4 short and simple questions – it will help me no end! It’s your opinion that influences what you see on my site (although of course my opinion always outweighs yours) so you may as well express it.

And many thanks again to everyone who e-mailed me with feedback, especially to those who did it without being prompted – it means a lot to me, and these unexpected mails are incredibly sweet.

There will be a couple of posts out of chronological order (I need to account for the charity work in December and other little bits and bobs), I’ll put up a little note as promised. Also, just as in January, I’ll be away a lot in the coming few weeks (passing through London so watch the Tours page for dates), and if I don’t answer my mobile – e-mail me.

It’s a video!

As you may have noticed, my blog’s been looking abandoned for the past 3 weeks, but it was not in vain! If you remember, I promised the site update and half an hour ago I saw its final version. At last!

As some of you already know, it’s a video. It took a lot of time, effort and dedication (especially from the director), and the 3 weeks following Christmas were the busiest and hardest for me with regards to this project, and it wouldn’t have happened so fast if not the director’s enthusiasm and the help I received from some of you faithful readers. I would especially like to thank John, whose comments on the rough versions of the video were so helpful and encouraging. And, of course, the director – none of it would have happened without him!

And so, look out for it! I’ll put up another note here, but it will ideally happen at the start of next week. There are 2 versions, one will be on the main site, the other – here on the blog.

Thank you so much for your patience. Now that I have my life back, the usual blog routine (or the lack of it) will resume.

Farewell, November

First of all, all November posts are now in place. I am sorry it took me so long this month: I worked a lot, was away a lot, spent a lot of days (too many if you ask me) nursing a toothache (but the good news is that all the 32 are still there) and on top of that worked on an update for my site which will hopefully be there by the end of January. And will hopefully be liked by you. Last year it was new photos, this year it’s something slightly different.

Secondly, December “offers” and days off are now on Offers and Tours pages respectively. These are taking place whether I publish information about them or not, but I believe that clients have the right to be informed, and better late than never.

Now, the results of November “poll”. Not much, just as I expected: I know that clicking options you like is much easier than coming up with your own answer. So the question brought 2 results only. One in the form of a comment by Walter, the other was made in person by T.

Walter’s comment is spot on. Sometimes even I can’t find the new posts. Unfortunately, seeing as my creative process is too creative to go by the calendar, I can’t promise to publish entries on dates they are written – this way you will end up having Part 2 of something and no Part 1 for the next 3 weeks. There are a few things you can do to make sure you don’t miss updates. You can subscribe to RSS feeds (right column, For those in the know section) or use Google reader – both notify you every time an entry is published. If you can’t be bothered with all this, there’s another way: in “Old Stuff” select the month you’re interested in, and you’ll be given the list of entries for that time. Or use the calendar if it’s the current month you want to know about. If you’re interested in comments, the latest ones appear at the top of “Your Opinion” list, and there’s also comments RSS.

I realise that I’m not being very helpful here. Walter commented on a specific issue and all I’ve done so far was to give you a few tips on how to work around it, but the issue is still there. I can put up a little sticky note every time I publish an entry out of ordinary people’s time flow. The little sticky note will be at the very top of the home page and so easily noticeable to all. I’m not sure how long I should leave these notes for as I guess you don’t check my blog every day, but let’s assume a week is enough.

The suggestion made in person referred to the Etiquette page which I promised years ago (literally) but never delivered. I won’t promise this time but I’ll do my best. After all, I’m personally interested in educating people about how to treat sex workers. And yes, a client’s memory can be better than mine.

And of course many thanks to T and Walter for their help and suggestions. Don’t you just adore dedicated clients!

Sex, drugs and statistics.

The wonderful video below shows, on top of other interesting things, why a sex worker is less likely to have and pass a sexually transmitted disease than a mere mortal (yep, it is mainly because we value our health and do not do stupid things, but I thought you might want to hear this from someone other than a sex worker) – unless you’re in Jakarta or Phnom Penh, so don’t go there, but it’s good to watch just for the educational sake of it. Mind you, it’s about 20 minutes long.