Good day to you, stranger, and welcome to my blog. If you came from elsewhere, here is my website. It’s worth a look. And now it’s time to introduce myself.
My name’s Jewel. I’m a lady of pleasure. Here you are probably thinking, ‘Yeah, right, lady’. Well, the word that’s been popular in the last decade is escort. Now, how often, do you think, I get to escort? About never. How often do I get pleasure? Well, every day is different, but more often than you would think, trust me. And “lady” is just a modifier. I could claim being pure pleasure, no lady, but you wouldn’t buy that either.
There are many other words, of course. Hooker. I like this one and you’ll see me using it in my blog often. It’s short and to the point, just ask my clients – they are hooked!
Whore. It’s derived from some Old English word which, in turn, came from somewhere else but basically means “desire”. What I don’t like about it is the tone in which it’s usually said, as if what I do is bad. Every housewife does the same. I’m just better paid.
Prostitute. Isn’t it a trite? Nowadays everyone prostitutes something, even people in government. Prostitution smells of bureaucracy. Besides, it comes from Latin meaning expose (for sale). No way am I exposing anything before it’s paid for!
Sex worker sounds too official. “Good evening, I’m Ms Smith. I work in sex trade. And what do you do for a living? Oh, property development? How very interesting!” No. Just no. But you’ll come across it on my blog because that’s the politically correct term that reflects the reality of prostitution: it’s a job, not a hobby.
What else is there? Slut. It seems to refer to a type of woman who would sleep with everyone in the neighbourhood as a way to follow her inner calling. Well, I don’t do neighbourhood and my inner calling differs slightly. I’m not being judgemental but I do disapprove of sluts not charging for the the community services they provide. If there’s something you’re good at, never do it for free!
Courtesan. Nice, but no. Very nice indeed and tempting, but still – no. Not me. I’m not bad but I’m not that good. It’s probably my own perception of the term, I somehow see courtesans as hetaerae but in corsets instead of tunics. And hetaerae instill a feeling of sacred fear and awe in me. Years ago I read about Phryne. The details escape my memory now, but she lived in a city that was conquered by Alexander the Great and the authorities wanted to revive it but were out of cash. Phryne offered her funds with one condition: she wanted a plate on the city gates saying “Destroyed by Alexander, rebuilt by Phryne”. Authorities refused; plenty of hypocrites even then. That may be the reason I don’t remember where it took place – because the place doesn’t exist anymore. And so, if I were to call myself a courtesan, I’d have to live up to the standard, but I don’t think I’d ever come up with a phrase like that. Or funds.
Interestingly enough, hetaera means “companion” in Greek. Those ancient Greeks knew a thing or two about pleasure. As one of my clients said, the fact that there is no neutral (forget appreciative) word for my line of work says a lot about our society. He also suggested an addition for this page, a term supposedly coined by T Pratchett – “a lady of negotiable affection”. In my case, a lady of fixed-rate affection. I really like the sound of it, it’s fresh and friendly, but my affection (as a feeling of fondness for someone) cannot be bought or negotiated so I’ll settle for a lady of fixed-rate virtue. For the flat rate of my virtue please click here.
And finally, this thing about selling myself and my body. Paying me doesn’t equal buying me. I sell far less of my body than professional athletes, pop stars and sperm donors. And I most certainly sell less of my self than some politicians. Just think about it: mine may not be the oldest profession out there but it has all the characteristics of the most honest one. And after years in sex trade I am still my own mistress. I decide what to say, what to do and how to do it. A client can suggest a course of actions and this suggestion will be taken into account. Bossing me around usually results in hard manual work for the rest of the hour – on your own. I don’t need your attitude, I already have one.