This post is about maturity, responsibility, making informed decisions and getting to know oneself through gaining experience, in short – boring, so feel free to skip it. It’s been forming for years now, but inexplicably April was rich in clients who could be a perfect illustration for this post.
The first time I consciously thought of it was 4 years ago in London, chatting with a regular client. He frequented me (and a lot of other ladies) because he wasn’t getting what he wanted out of his marriage. No, he wasn’t after some exotic practices. He enjoyed kissing, cuddling and pleasuring women orally – an average man, if you please. His wife, however, was a Catholic, and a good one at that. For her sex was means of procreation, not a source of pleasure. She didn’t want to be pleasured or kissed, as both were dirty (involving saliva and germs) and useless (not leading to conception) practices.
No matter what woman you complain to me about, be it your wife or another sex worker, I will always take her side, even if I disagree with her. In this particular case it wasn’t hard. Was the woman a Catholic when my client proposed to her? Yes, she was. Was he aware of it? Yes, he was. Did she have the right to be Catholic/ Rastafarian/ Alien if she wished so, and in the fashion that suited her? She sure did (in fact, it’s great to see that she stuck by her principles and didn’t go along with his desires just because he was a man and thus more important than her, as some women believe). They didn’t have sex before marriage (I told you she was a good Catholic) and didn’t talk about it either. So he made an informed but irresponsible decision to marry her in the hope that she would change, which she, being a good Catholic, didn’t do. 30 years down the line he was busy with his face between every single pair of woman’s legs that he could persuade to open, and she, knowing this, wouldn’t divorce him to find another man to be happy with because she was a good Catholic. Two people hating each other for the miserable unfulfilled lives they’ve had – a true marriage blessed by the church (sorry, but I had to do it at least once).
This was an extreme case. Most other clients with similar issues are happy with their marriages. But the issue is still there. The issue, as I see it, is that they committed to a life with another person, not knowing if this person is right for them. In other words, they haven’t had sex before marriage.
I’m not saying all the virgins are bound to get disappointed in their marriages. I’m sure there are lots of successful marriages where either one or both partners were virgins. But I obviously don’t get to meet these people, so I’m concentrating on the ones that I do come across. The post itself is for those who are still virgin; let’s face it, it’s no help to ex-virgins unless they want to find more reasons to kick their own butt.
Virginity is way overrated from my point of view. For the record, I don’t think there is anything wrong with it: I kept mine till a month before my 22nd birthday (and to be honest, I now think I should have waited a little longer). I am not promoting promiscuity here either. And I believe that the first time is better with someone whom you trust (emotional attachment and physical attraction are optional), regardless of the sex, sexual experience and need for payment. But I do think that it should be done before Mendelssohn is played and not after.
My reasoning to follow in Part 2 as this one is long enough already.